I just saw Paddy in the Supermarket.
Paddy says “yeah it’s the bloody instructions.”
I said, “what instructions Paddy?”
Paddy says, “underneath the shoe, it says “Taiwan.”
I was walking around Taiwan…
I looked under the bottom, it said, “Just around the corner.”
A joke from Taiwan slightly adapted to suit the world better
One of the guys said: “I used to look really pretty and my mom always took care of my looks, so everyone thought I was a girl.”
Another replied: “That definitely caused a lot of troubles!”
“Yeah, even the PE teacher thought I was a girl and sorted me into the girls’ group, so eventually my mom decided to cut my hair short so I look more like a boy.”
The guy continued, “Of course the teacher was suprised, so did some other kids, but the most suprised of them all was the boy who used to carry my textbooks to lessons.”
A group of colleagues go for a night out after work in Singapore…
“So where are you lads from?”
One of the friends replies
“Well I’m from here in Singapore, but my friends are all visiting on business. Kwok and Hung are from Malaysia, Minh is from Vietnam, Liu is from Taiwan, Giat is from Laos, Acharya is from Cambodia, and Arif is from Indonesia.”
The bouncer grimaces, and says
“Look, I’m sorry about this guys. You’re all well dressed and don’t seem like troublemakers. But I’m afraid I can’t let you in if you haven’t got a Thai.”
“I’m off to Taiwan for a blood test.” “Taipei?”
A man takes a pair of shoes back to the shop and complains that there is a lace missing.
Which dinosaur does the government of the People’s Republic of China hate?
Did you know that the best leaders are born and bred in the capital of Taiwan?
A new kind of diabetes was discovered in rural Taiwan
I’ve always wanted to visit Taiwan
Three men were buried under a landslide in China
They’re inside a car when it happened, and miraculously still have cell phone connection.
The first man made a phone call to the police:
“I’m a good citizen and husband, please come save us!”
The police tell him they will come for them in 24 hours
The second man made a phone call to the army:
“Comrade, I served the country as you do, please get me out of here!”
The soldier tell him they will come for them in 12 hours
The final man made a phone call to someone, and made a whisper which the other two man can’t hear
Within an hour, the men were dug out and rescued
A group of police officer walks up to the weary men:
“Alright, which one of you said Taiwan is a country?”
Why do the Mexican homies on the States always have one shoe lace untied?
“China reports no new coronavirus local infections!” says a Chinese national to random strangers on the Internet
“No… Hong Kong and Taiwan is not… uh… Yes, China is … uh…”
Naming the COVID-19 variants, the WHO skipped the greek letter ‘xi’.
A celebrity from the capital of Taiwan
What is the most common blood type in Taiwan?
China Two Party System
Signed, Hong Kong
The leaders of New Zealand, Taiwan and Vietnam walk into the White House..
Xi and Biden have a bet
So after their terms ended and they reached the end of their mortal coil, they were cryogenically preserved in Switzerland and woken up in 100 years.
Strolling down the future streets of Geneva, they come across a news broadcast on a large billboard.
“Ha! I knew it! China is a soft power giant now!” Says Xi, pointing at the newsreader announcing: *Communist Party USA wins historic US election*
“Hmm, I wouldn’t be so sure about that…” says Biden, pointing at the bottom news crawl:
*tensions mount over border skirmishes between Taiwan and India*
A Canadian, a Swiss, a German, a Mexican, a American, a Korean, a Austrian, a Brazilian, a Estonian, a Filipino, a British, a Egyptian, a Icelander, a Jamaican, a South African, a Puerto Rican, a Chinese, a Latvian, a Moroccan, a Taiwanese, a Spaniard, and a Romanian walk into a fancy restaurant.
The Chinese word for Tibet is the same as the Chinese word for Taiwan.
Bank Loan
The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Chinese hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything
checks out.
The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the
Chinese for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank’s underground
garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Chinese returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, “Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow
$5,000?”
The Chinese replies: “Where else in New York City can I park my car for
two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”
You’re probably Ghana think”no one will Bolivia. There’s just Norway.”
I hoped it could get Finnish quickly and because I was Russian, I didn’t Czech the label and accidentally added Chile. When I went to the loo I badly burnt my Holland I passed out.
I ended up in a hospital in Taiwan. I received Taipei blood and discharged. I had nowhere Togo and it was the worst situation I’ve ever Benin. I thought my wife would be worried or Rwanda where I’ve been.
I needed food and thought Alaska. I phoned her and asked “Kenya bring me a sandwich?” she brought me pineapple on a bun because she knows it’s just Hawaii roll.
The end.
My wife suggested that I do a little light reading to help me relax
What do a Typhoon and Aquaman have in common?
Context: In Taiwan at the moment, thought of this while watching motorcycles get knocked over by wind.