My wife is Korean
Korean joke
A North Korean Judge walks out of the courtroom, laughing his head off
“Oh, I just heard the funniest political joke.” replies the Judge.
“Tell Me!”
“I can’t – I just gave someone life in prison for it!”
My Korean friend died yesterday
A North Korean go to Poland…
He meet a farmer that ask him :
“Kim jesteś?” (Who are you?)
And Kim reply :
“No, Kim Jong Un.”
A Korean man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 200,000 Korean won and walked out with $200…
A South Korean asks a North Korean “How’s life?”
A North Korean Soldier Walks Into A Bar
My Korean girlfriend broke up with me
A father asks his child, “Could you please stop listening to Korean music?”
My dad told me I was listening to way too much Korean Music.
What would you call a Korean Shang Chi?
What do all North Korean’s say when you ask them how their day was?
A North Korean man is walking home
“Look what I found!” he says, revealing his treasure to his wife, “Quick heat the oil”
“But husband, the police confiscated the oil! They said subversives could use it to make bombs!””
Fine, then stoke the fire, we can still roast it”
“But husband” the wife cries, “The army took our firewood! They said they needed it to stay warm while defending us from the imperialists on the border.”
Furious, that his fish is no longer on the menu, the man takes it outside and hurls it back into the ocean.
“Thank you police for defending us from subversives! And thank you Army for defending us from imperialists! And thank you glorious leader Kim Jong-Un for defending me from this fish!”
It’s then that he notices a government official walking with a UN inspector. His only hope is that his death is painless and his family is spared.
The official stands there for a second, before turning the the UN inspector, “See, beloved military, beloved police, and food so plentiful our people throw it away!”
My girlfriend is a half-Korean
I always feel nervous when talking to Koreans.
What did the South Korean flag holder say to the North Korean holder after the ceremony?
What do you call North Korean K-Pop?
My Korean girlfriend makes some cute mistakes when speaking English. For example:
“Tropical tree” instead of “Palm tree”
“Ant-licker” instead of “Uncle”
Kim Jong-un walks into a school in North Korea.
The student replies “The Supreme Leader, infinite in wisdom and kindness, provider and protector of the Koreans, he is our only father.”
Kim Jong beams. “Excellent. Now tell me who is your mother?”
The student doesn’t hesitate. “The Land of True Korea, outstanding in her beauty, international superpower, and redeemer of all civilisations, she is our only mother.”
Kim Jong applauds. “What a diligent student you are. What do you want to be when you’re older?”
The student replies “An orphan.”
TIL Korean singers never say, “Yes daddy!”
A Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a New Yorker ….
A reporter comes up to them and says,
“Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?”
The Saudi says, “excuse me , what is this word shortage?”
The Russian says, “excuse me, what’s meat?”
The North Korean says, “excuse me, what’s an opinion?”
The New Yorker says, “excuse me, what’s excuse me?”
What do you call a rich Korean grandma?
What does the Korean civil war and a Korean gambler have in common ?
A Russian, a Mexican, and a Korean all show up to a construction site and get hired.
The boss then leaves and comes back a few hours later to check up on his new workers.
He walks over to the Russian, and all the concrete mix is stacked up nice and orderly. The boss tells him “great work!” and moves on.
He walks up to the Mexican and sees that al the wood is stacked in a perfect pile, so he says “wonderful job!” and moves on.
He then looks around and sees that the Korean is missing, and supplies are everywhere. Out of nowhere, the Korean jumps out from behind a pile of dirt and yells “SUPPLIES!”
What do you call a Korean entrepreneur?
[Pickup line] Are you the Korean peninsula?
What do you call 2000 pounds of Korean money?
Say what you will about North Koreans
What’s the most stereotypically Korean-Canadian name ever?
North Korean international press conference
– I will have you know that in North Korea no one has died of hunger
– No one has died of thirst, of cold or homelessness
The Russian representative:
– have you tried polonium ?
A Korean guy recently died in a car accident near me
If Godzilla was Korean
I am a little sad today, My korean friend was found dead
What do you call it when a soldier crashes a Korean car
My dad was Korean and my mom was Mexican
I finally married my Korean wife whom I met in a penpal site few years ago..
A Korean couple.
“ It was the dog” said the man smiling.
“Don’t blame the dog” the woman said “ I cooked it perfectly”
Did you catch the name of that Korean plumber?
Have you tried North Korean food?
A North Korean general is to undergo surgery
“No, chest expansion surgery, to make room for one more Gold medal”
I asked my North Korean friend how he liked living there.
edit: my first award! thank you to jackdaman!
2nd edit: thanks to **TheGeorgiaGazette** for the 2nd award!
BREAKING: North Korean leader in a vegetative state following surgery.
What do you call a mobile phone company that doesn’t like South Korean cars?
I’ll see myself it out
Korean meatballs
Why do North Koreans draw the straightest lines?
I asked my North Korean pen pal how it was like living in North Korea
Why don’t North Koreans go to heaven?
What’s a North Korean farmer’s favorite time of year?
Just an FYI. I had a Korean family move in next door to me.
But I do want to tell you, it’s really made my dog nervous.
An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve
The American says, “Look at how free and independent they are, they must be Americans.”
The Briton says, “What are you talking about, look at how calm and reserved they are, the are obviously British.”
The North Korean says, “You two are both missing the point. They have no clothes, no shelter, they only have and apple to eat between them and yet they are being told that they live in paradise. They’re clearly North Korean.”
Did you know that 80% of Korean businessmen have caddaracts?
Why is the North Korean dictator so evil?
A British guy, a French guy, and a Korean guy got stranded on an island
How is Korean boxing like baseball?
I am shooting a scene about a Korean martial art. The second shot wasn’t perfect by any means.
A North Korean man frequently sneaks to the South Korean capital to gamble for bakery goods for his family.
Why did the Jedi let a Korean into the order?
Why are North Korean Figure Skaters so good?
What’s the difference between North Korea and the US?
TIL 50% of South Koreans have cataracts.
Why do North Koreans only sell one size of drink?
The Chinese Premier, along with the South Korean and Indonesia President Went to See God
Zhou Enlai went first: “God, when will my country become prosperous?”
God replied: “30 more years”.
Zhou Enlai wept because he knew he will never see it in his lifetime. Indeed, he would pass away soon after.
Next came Park Chung-hee, and he asked the same question: “God, when will my country become prosperous?”
God replied: “35 more years”.
Again, the South Korean President wept. Like the Chinese Premier, he will never see it happen in his lifetime. He would be assassinated a few years later.
The Indonesian President came last before God, and again asked the same question: “God, when will my country become prosperous?”
God replied: “In 100 kilometers”.
Confused, Suharto asked again. Once more, God replied, “in 100 kilometers” before vanishing. Suharto wondered, “how could that be? Did God make a mistake? Could He mean 100 years?” Back in office, he shared this with his aide, who wept bitterly. When asked why, the aide replied, “our country moves one step every year towards prosperity.”
A joke I remembered because my government and media loved to use the phrase “selangkah lebih maju” (progressing one step further) or variations of it to celebrate any sort of improvement, no matter how small. In essence overstating the impact and exaggerating the achievement.
North Korean launches keep getting better and better
I am married to a Korean wife and she told me I get to name our son’s English name
I got to choose his English name so I said we should call him Lester.
So when I go around and introduce my child I could say
“This is our child 모 Lester”
North Korea has a new war game
There’s a rumour that North Korean dictator, Kim Jong Un is dead.
Why aren’t there many North Koreans in the Olympics?
How do you clear a North Korean bingo hall?
Why is the North Korean National library so big?
Why are North Koreans always left handed?
I ate at a Korean restaurant last night.
I attack you with an ancient Korean ranged weapon…
Syngman Rhee was a South Korean politician who served as the first president of South Korea from 1948 to 1960.
North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they’re brainwashed by their government and the media.
I want to open a Thai/Mexican/Korean fusion restaurant
Cybersecurity experts have found an easy way to spot North Korean hackers. They never use the shift key.
North Korean submarine accidentally destroys another North Korean submarine
This year Korean gum brand Xylitol did a sponsorship with BTS
That’s because Xylitol doesn’t have Suga.