What type of gum does a Buddhist perfer?
More Gum Jokes!
An elementary school student gets gum stuck in his hair…
The science teacher responds “Of course, its just a matter of having the right solvent.”
An hour later the nurse asks the science teacher “Have any luck?”
The science teacher responds “Yes, here’s the gum back.”
What flavor gum does a scientist prefer?
inspired by the presidential gum joke.
A joke my husband made up…What kind of gum does Trump chew?
A lady asked me if I had any gum this morning
Three snails were drinking at a bar. One of the snails got up to buy chewing gum at the store. He asked his snail friends if they wanted some gum too. They said yes.
What did the guy at the restaurant say to the bubble gum he found stuck under the table?
What is a scientist’s favorite type of gum?
What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and wet?
What kind of gum do bees chew?
Five year olds think it’s hilarious. I do not.
What is an old person’s favorite flavor of gum?
^Thank ^you, ^goodnight
Why do all Fortnite players have healthy gums?
What is a penguins favorite chewing gum?
“I’d like to return this gum, it tastes awful”
“I’d like to return these bandaids. I think someone ate some.”
My dentist took a look in my mouth and said, “Your gums look awful. I told you to floss religiously.”
Why is gum similar to guns?
What’s a scientist’s favorite gum flavor?
My brother counted how much gum he had
I said it’s called Extra gum for a reason
What’s the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?
What is a train’s favourite food? Gum.
What’s the similarity between a pack of chewing gum and a gun?
My son was grabbing my nicotine gum…
“Son, you can’t have those.”
“But Dad, I see you chewing it all the time!”
“That’s because I used to smoke. If you want them you better start smoking first”
What do you call a train that carries gum
A scientist tried to make gum out of eggs
Why did the gum cross the road?
I’m trying out a new idea for using gum that’s lost its flavor.
(Sorry)
A Teacher wants to do a little Quiz with her Students.
Random Student:”A Duck!”
Teacher:”Thats right, but it could also be a Goose.
Next question, which animal has Claws and Fur?”
Random Student:”A Dog!”
Teacher:”Thats right, but it could also be a Cat.”r>
A Boy steps infront of the Teacher:”Now i have a question for you.”
Teacher:”Sure go ahead.”
Boy:”Whats this?? First its Long, Hard and Dry, then you stick it into something warm and soft, after some repeated motion its soft, short and wet?”
The Teacher immediatly slaps the Boys face.
The Boy smiling says:”Thats right, but it could have been a Chewing Gum!”
What’s the difference between a teacher and a train??
What’s Han Solo’s favorite gum?
n Indian is calmly having breakfast… An Indian is calmly having his breakfast when an American, who is chewing gum, sits down beside him.
The American asks :’Do you eat the bread entirely?’
The Indian answers,’Of course!’
American : ‘We do not .We only eat the inner part. The crust is put in a container and processed and transformed into flour and sold to Indians.’
The Indian says nothing.
The American continues,’Do you eat this jelly with the bread?’
Indian : ‘Of course!’
American : ‘We do not. We eat fresh fruits for breakfast and then put the seeds and peels into a container. Later it is processed and transformed to jelly and sold to Indians..’
The Indian finally asks,’And what do you do with the condoms after using them?’
American : ‘We throw them away,of course!’
Indian : ‘We do not. We keep them in containers, process them transform them into chewing gum and sell it to the United States.
I have an unopened pack of gum from 1993
..mint condition
Why does Han Solo like gum?
What is a flat earther’s least favorite flavor of gum?
Deep in the Australian bush…
Eventually the lizard says, “Dude, my mouth is so dry. I’m going to get a drink at the river.” So he climbs down the tree, makes his way through the bush and when he arrives at the river he leans in to drink but slips and falls in!
A passing croc seems him floundering and nuzzles him onto the bank.
“What are you doing in my river?” Grumbles the crocodile.
“Oh koala and I are smoking joints in a gum and I just needed a drink.” Says lizard.
“What! Cannabis in MY bushland? I’m going to go have a word with that no good koala.” So he climbs out of the river, walks through the bush and when he finds the gum he looks up and shouts, “Oi! Koala!” The squinting koala gazes down at him in surprise.
“Whoa dude!” Exclaims the koala, “How much water did you drink?”
What flavor gum does the President prefer?
Ill walk myself to the nearest border
A man is sitting on the train, chewing gum in silence.
I walked up to a girl and said, “Skittles, Starburst, Jelly Babies, Haribo, Wine Gums.”
I said, “I’m trying to sweet-talk you into dating me.”
A student brings a slingshot to algebra class and fires gum at the professor
What’s the moon’s favorite gum?
How does a train driver operate a train while eating gum?
creds to my 5yo brother
A Koala was sitting on a gum tree.
The koala replied, smoking a joint come up and have some.
So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints.
After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was dry and that he was going to get a drink from the river.
The little lizard was so stoned tbat he leaned over too far and fell into the river.
A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and helped him to the side. Then the crocodile asked the little lizard, what’s the matter with you?
The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he had been sitting with the koala and smoking joints and got too stoned and fell into the river while trying to quench his thirst.
The crocodile said he has to check out this out and walked into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala was about finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said, hey you!
The koala looked down at him and said,
Fuuuuucccckkk dude…. How much water did you drink!!
It had to be Australia
On his walk he comes across a koala sitting in a gum tree, smoking a joint and stops for a chat.
“Gidday, mate. What are you doing?”
The koala replies, “Smoking a joint, come up and join me. It’s bloody good gear!”
So the gecko climbs up and sits next to the koala and they share a joint. After a while the gecko says his mouth is now very dry and that he’s going to get a drink from the river.
At the riverbank, the gecko is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in. The current is quite strong and he starts to float away. A crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned gecko and helps him back to the shore.
He then asks the lizard, “What’s the matter with you?”
The gecko explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with his new koala friend. He then explained how his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!
The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check out the stoned koala for himself. He walks into the bush and finds the tree where the koala is sitting in the fork of a gum tree, finishing a joint.
The crocodile looks up and says “Hey, Koala, you got any more of that grass?”
The koala looks down and says “FUUUUUCK, DUDE……. how much water did you drink?”
What do designers of gum call new flavors from old ingredients?
This morning I slipped on a gum ball and landed on my face pretty hard.
Why did Logan Paul not give rice gum a hi five?
The Democratic Caucus has released a new gum flavor
I quit smoking and I’m using gum as an alternative…
Food scientists have finally managed to remove the mint flavor from gum
I’m trying to start up my own business, recycling discarded chewing gum.
When I was a kid a piece of bubble gum used to cost a penny. You know what happened?
When i was a kid, you could go into a store with a dollar and walk out with a soda, 4 candy bars, chips, and some gum…
[not my joke, I got it from somewhere just don’t remember where, and it’s provably unfunny but it made me laugh a lil]
This year Korean gum brand Xylitol did a sponsorship with BTS
That’s because Xylitol doesn’t have Suga.