Zoology Jokes

As he arrived at classroom, he saw ten rods with platforms with ten birds on them. Each bird had a sack over its head; only the legs were showing. He sat straight in the front row because he wanted to do the best job possible. The professor announced that the test would be to look at each of the birds’ legs and give the common name, habitat, genus and species.

The student looked at each of the birds’ legs. They all looked the same to him. He began to get upset. He had stayed up all night studying and now had to identify birds by their legs. The more he thought about it the angrier he got.

Finally he could stand it no longer. He went up to the professor’s desk and said, “What a stupid test! How could anyone tell the difference between birds by looking at their legs?!” With that, the student threw his test on the professor’s desk and walked to the door.

The professor was surprised. The class was so big that he didn’t know every student’s name so, as the student reached the door the professor called, “Hey mister, what’s your name?”

The enraged student turned around, pulled up his pant legs and said, “You tell me, buddy. YOU TELL ME!”

A college student needed a small two-hour course to fill his schedule and the only one available was wildlife Zoology. So he joined in and after one week of study, a test was held.

The professor passed out sheets of small

paper where in each square was a carefully drawn picture of a bird’s legs.

No bodies, no feet, just legs.

The test asked each student to identify the birds from their legs.

Our student sat and stared at the test getting

angrier every minute.

Finally he stomped up to the front of the classroom and threw the test on

the teacher’s desk. “This is the worst test I have ever written.”

The teacher looked up and said: “Young man, you have not filled in anything and you definitely have failed the test. What’s your name my dear?”

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The student pulled up his pant to the knee showing his legs and said, “You tell me…”

They tried to hire Pavlov’s dog but built a Hippo-campus

You can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether the animal sees you later or in a while.

Unusual name for a teacher, but she tortoise well.

I read an article a few years ago about the Massachusetts highway department getting an increased number of complaints about dead crows by the highways.

The state consulted behavioural experts, and performed autopsies of some of the dead birds and determined that they were scavenging by the roadside, and being struck by vehicles.

Normally, crows in groups will take turns eating, with one or two performing as lookouts to give warning if something approaches, and they’re smart enough to know that getting hit by a car is bad news.

In these cases, they lookouts were in place, but after observation the final lesson learned was that while the lookout crows could yell “Cah Cah”, they couldn’t yell “Truck!”

edit: All credit to /u/Goodgulf

A blonde and a lawyer find themselves sitting next to each other on airplane. As take-off begins the lawyer already finds himself getting bored, and so he turns to the blonde and says “Hey, wanna play a game?” Slightly interested, the blonde turns back to him and says “What is it?”

“Well, the way it works is that if I ask you a question and you don’t know the answer to it you pay me 5 dollars. But if you ask me a question and I don’t know the answer I’ll pay YOU 5 dollars.”

“Nope, not interested.”

“Okay hang on,” says the lawyer, confident in his intelligence. “Tell you what, if you ask me a question and I can’t answer it I’ll give you a hundred dollars instead. How does that sound?”

Now much more interested the blonde nods agreeably.

“First question,” says the lawyer. “What is the chemical symbol of gold?”

The blonde wracks her brains but just can’t remember and hands him five dollars.

“My turn!” she says. “What has silver and red stripes with 16 legs and wings?”

The lawyer’s quite confused by this, but he desperately tries to think of all the zoology he knows. He even makes surreptitious google searches on his phone. But try as he might he still can’t find the answer. Finally he gives up and hands the blonde a hundred dollar bill. “But I have to know,” he asks, “what was the answer to your question?”

Without a word the blonde slips him another five dollars.