Robin Jokes

Get in the batmobile.

“Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!”

Like 30 or 40 times

-The Joker

When both of them get to the batmobile,

Batman tells robin that he is too drunk to drive. Robin, says fine I’ll drive..

Robin gets sets and starts driving. Before he gets in the highway heading to cave he shifts gears back and forward, stopping at a few lights then ,In the highway he clutches 4th , 5th

When they get to the cave batman get outs , takes his cape off and looks at Robin and tells him.

Robin give me a kiss.

Robin , confused looks at him. Saying no.

Batman insists again..

Come on robin just one kiss..

Robin says batman, you clearly had a bit to much to drink.

Batman keeps insisting

Come robin one kiss.

Robin says batman, I’m a man and i like women!!

Batman looks at him and says

You are man that knows that the batmobile doesn’t have a stick

“Batman, why do you wear dark colors?”

“Easy Robin, it makes me less likely to be shot”

“Then why do I wear bright colors?”

“It also makes me less likely to be shot.”

“Stop leaving Pooh lying around!”

Batman and Robin are in the Batcave. Batman is putting the Batmonile through its monthly tune-up, and it won’t start. So Batman goes and asks Robin for help.

“Is the tank empty?” Robin asks.

“I just filled it,” Batman replies.

“Is the oil full?” Robin asks.

“Freshly replaced,” Batman replies.

“Did you check the battery?”

“What the heck is a tery?”

Since the birds couldn’t go anywhere, they decided to just sit and soak up the sun.

Along came a cat, and it ate them.

Licking its paws, the cat said, “I just love baskin’ robins!”

(Apparently yesterday’s joke was no good, but I like this one)

U2 is playing a concert in Scotland, and as a hush comes over the crowd, Bono starts clapping his hands above his head very slowly.

As he claps, he tells the crowd, “Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies.” And a man stands up in the back of the room, and shouts “Then stop clappin’ your hands!”

Thanks, Robin.

After a hard fought night against some bad guys, Batman and Robin return to the Batmobile. Before entering the Batmobile, Batman says he allows Robin to drive it. Excited, Robin gets in the car with Batman, and starts it up. He goes off at an amazing speed, shifting gears like a mad man, going from 2nd to 5th in a matter of seconds, drifting, all that kind of stuff. When they arrive at the Batcave, Batman jumps on Robin and starts making out with him. Robin pushes him off and asks “What the hell, Batman?! Why would you do that?!”; to which Batman responds:

“Oh please Robin, you and I both know that the Batmobile’s gears are automatic…”

Batman & Robin have had a bad day fighting crime.

Batman says to Robin ‘Go relax, have a bath’.

Robin says ‘What’s a h?’

Two robins were sitting in a tree. “I’m really hungry,” said the first one.

“Me too,” said the second. “Let’s fly down and find some lunch.”

They flew to the ground and found a nice plot of plowed ground full of worms. They ate and ate and ate until they could eat no more.

“I’m so full I don’t think I can fly back up to the tree,” said the first one.

“Me neither. Let’s just lay here and bask in the warm sun,” said the second.

They plopped down, basking in the sun. No sooner than they had fallen asleep, when a big fat tomcat snuck up and gobbled them up.

As the cat sat washing his face after his meal, he thought, “I just love ‘baskin’ robins.'”

Robin : Sorry. What is a hroom.?

“Batman, I can’t get the Batmobile to start! I turn the Batkey, press the Batpedal, but nothing!”

Batman thinks a moment before asking “Did you check the battery?”

There are a few seconds of silence before Robin asks “What’s a tery?”

He jumps into the batmobile and tries to get it started but it wont work.

So Robin goes to find batman to help him.

Robin explains to batman that the batmobile isn’t working.

“Check the battery” says batman.

“Who is tery?” Robin says confused.

He stayed in the Bat-tub for too long.

As Robin Hood lie dying, his loved ones and merry men, not so merry now, gathered round. With faltering, hesitant breathes, he calls for his bow and an arrow.

“This bow,” he says, “has saved my life, kept me fed, brought peace to our land. I will fire it one last time and beg only that I be buried where the arrow lands.”

With the last if his failing strength, he pulls back the mighty string and let’s fly, and dies.

That is why they buried him on top of the dresser.

… Looking nonchalant OMG!

Jason asks “Why?” and Joker replies “this is a CROW bar!”

Then he beats him to death.

Robin: What’s a tery

Sans-sheriff

“Here, poor man,” Robin hood smiled. “Take this bag of gold, I took it from a rich man.”

“Thank you so much!” The man said as he got a little teary. “Now I’m rich!”

Robin hood turned back to the man.

“You’re what?”

Batman asks “Have I ever shown you how to do a side-kick?”

Wonder Woman shouts “BATMAN! THAT IS VERY UNPROFESSIONAL!!”

…it sherwood help though.

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, “Make me one with everything.”

Robin Hood is apt to steal while Robinhood is app to steal.

They don’t like rich people in Robin’s hood

…he was diagnosed with Menintightis.

Until one day his bow broke. The next day Tuck arrived and stayed with the merry men.

Remember, only yew can prevent forest friars!

Robin Dakarma

That’s right, put it in the bag.

Batman: Robin, im giving you my Batmobile.

Robin: aww really batman? thanks!

Batman: yes, its 555-522-8626

A poor peasant is traveling the woody paths of Barnsdale, when a hooded man walks up to him.

Robin Hood: **”HALT!”**

**”*****I am Robin Hood, I take from the rich to give to the poor, now give me all your money!”***

Peasant: *”I have nothing, I’ve been hungry for years you see”*

Robin Hood: ***”Very well then poor man, take this!”***

Robin Hood gives the poor man a sack, filled to the brim with gold coins. He then fades away into the forest.

The peasant stares in disbelief, exclaiming: *”I can’t believe it, I’m Rich!”*

**”HALT!”**

Sherwood Florist

It had been many years since Robin Hood began his quest of “stealing from the rich and giving to the poor”. By now he was growing old and tired, and wanted to find someone who could carry on his legacy and lead a new band of Merry Men.

He searched through many villages for someone he could deem his successor. Eventually he came across a promising young lad by the name of Lincoln.

“Lincoln, my boy,” said Robin Hood, “When I am gone from this world, I want you to be the one to carry on my legacy. Even the great name of Robin Hood will one day be yours.”

“Thank you very much, sir,” responded Lincoln. “Please pass as much knowledge on to me as you can so I can properly lead the Merry Men after you have passed away.”

“Very well then. The first lesson you need to learn is survival.” said Robin Hood. “Grill as much meat as possible in the wilderness, and then bring it to me as proof that you know how to sustain yourself in the wilderness. On top of that, you will also need to learn to cook the meat regularly so I can be well-fed and taken care of in my old age.”

Lincoln agreed. He took minimal supplies out into the forest and began grilling as much meat as he could find. When he was done, he brought it back for Robin Hood to enjoy.

As time went on, the Merry Men began to notice an abundance of meat in Robin Hood’s residence. Robin Hood’s good friend, Friar Tuck, approached him directly about this.

“I don’t understand how you got all this meat, Robin,” he said.

Robin Hood was quick to reply:

“Clearly you don’t have an heir, Friar.”

– Batman, batremote to battv doesn’t work!

– Did you check batteries?

– What are teries?

First cannibal complains, “I hate my mother-in-Law.”

Second cannibal replies, “Ehh. Just eat the noodles.”

Good Will Hunting

He’s the prince of Thebes.

They were called Menintights

Flatman and Ribbon.

Little Red Robin Hood.

Robin Hoo-d.

They became Flatman and Ribbon…

Batman: You ready Robin?

Robin: I’m not sure about this costume Batman. It’s so bright and red. And why do I have to wear a silly yellow cape?

Batman: Well, we’re superheroes Robin. We got to dress the part.

Robin: I’m still not sure about this Batman. I mean, you aren’t dressed in any bright colors at all!

Batman: Well, if I did that then they’ll be shooting at me and not you now wouldn’t they? And didn’t I train you to be the greatest acrobat in the world? So why all the worrying? The other ones never complained about this, they loved being heroes, god rest their souls.

Without a doubt, my favorite Robin Williams movie is Mrs. Fire.

A man goes to see a doctor. Doctor asks what seems to be the trouble. The man says, “Doc, I’m depressed. Simply, I can’t sleep sometimes, I can’t eat, I feel down and irritable most days. I just can’t feel ‘happy.'”

The Doctor says, “I’ve got the perfect fix for you. In town tonight is the great clown Pagliacci. He’s hysterically funny and will make you laugh til you cry. You will experience a joy unprecedented.”

The man bursts into tears. The doctor, confused asks why. “Doc, I *am* Pagliacci.”

Robin Williams was legendary. He was also human. He had his demons and battled them all his life. I don’t like that he’s gone, but I understand what he’s dealt with. RIP.

Pooh: “I’m stuffed”

Afterlifestyles of the Rich and Famous

I call them “nanu-nanubots.”

Because the rules said it needed to contain at least 6 characters and include at least 1 capital!

I loved my wife Lorraine in the beginning, but for the longest time I’ve had a crush on my friend Claire-Lee Robins, who I know feels the same way about me. Eventually Lorraine found out about my secretive feelings, and just like that, she packed her bags and left.

I do feel bad about it all. But then I realised; I can see Claire-Lee now Lorraine has gone.

## I say ofcourse he was Jewish

+ 30 years old, Single, Living at home with his parents

+ Working in his father’s business

+ His mother thought he was God’s gift

## He’s Jewish. Give it up

****

_by Robin Williams_

Happy Birthday Robin!